Swan Song


Dear beautiful strong Woman,
Rest your mind, its not your fault.
Some men never grown up, they just grow older.

A man's maturity Level and readiness for commitment has less to do with age and more to do with his mindset. Just bcoz he's older doesn't necessarily means he's any more ready for a relationship today than he was 3, 5-10 years ago.

Her heart is played
like well-worn strings
in her eyes,
the sadness sings
of one who was destined
for better things.  

Lasty, she don't care


You're the one who hurt her. and you're acting like she hurt you. You're the one who lied her 
and you're blaming her for her trust issues.

You're the one who talks to other girls behind her back, and you're getting mad when she talks to her guy friends.

You're the one who doesn't gve her enough attention and you're getting upset when she doesn't text you back fast enough.

You're the one who doesn't make any time for her and you trippin when things get busy for her.

You're the one who always making mistakes and you're saying she loves pick fights with you. 

You're the one who doesn't understand her. and you're making her feel likes shes crazy for feeling the way she does. 

You're the one who mistreats her and you're playing the victim claiming she isn't good to you. 

You're the one who makes her miserable and you're making it seem like you're unhappy bcoz of her.

You're the one who doesn't put any effort in and you're coming off like she isn't trying her hardest. 

you're the one who doesn't love her and you believe that shes the one who doesn't care.

Try to get over


When a girl tries to get over a guy, it's hard for her, cause when a girl gets attached to a guy, she's sticks to him and it's hard for her to un-attach herself from him, cause when a girl actually loves a guy, she loves hard, too hard, more than she's supposed to. I mean, she tries to flirt with other guys, she tries to hang out with other guys but she just can't seem to get over that one dude that impacted her life. And she always finds herself running back to him.

Friend

 

Friendship? Bestfriends? what are these mean to you? Do you know what is it? Have you ever feel of hving a Friendship OR Bestfriend OR BOTH.

So, for my undrstanding about Friendship is, a group of people that are very close enough to enjoy a moments together. it doenst matter in among them are known for a long time, or just met which is short time. As long they feel comfortable and happy each other once they meet up and staying together. Friendship is only among them coz if hve newbie, it might feel a little bit awkward coz not feeling the same like bfore. In friendship also help and support each other in every tiny big situation. Friendship are not keep in secret from one another. Well, its already a best buddy and bcome Awesome friendship, why the hell you wanna keep a secret, right? if you keep a secret from your friend. you are not been called as Friendship. but Bullshit. You just a fake friends and worse than scumbag. Especially when you betrayed your own friend that knows and closes to you. Clearly, you're dont know anything about Friendship is. and you're not value them. See, like i said, you worse than scumbag.

And ... Bestfriends? ermm. For my undrstanding about Bestfriends is a person or few persons you've known for a longgg time in your life. They know about your life you've been through all these years, what you love and what you hate the most. Know what your background. Know about your past. Knw abt you've changing. and mostly almost everything deeply about you, only your bestfriends can and knw that. To make this clear, Our First bestfriends in our life is Our Parents. Second is Our Cousins then Third is Our Friends. You must know that

Bestfriends can be just near you all the time. or far apart distance from you. Not always you seeing each other, but they always there for you when you needed. Even theres a time you guys rare cntact each other bcoz bz study or other personal. But in mind and heart, they'll always remembers about you, care and trusts you.  and also theres a time you see your bff post pictures together with his/hers friends, that looks like closer. Then from that, you will feel jealous and a little bit sad. why? Ofcourse you are feeling that way, coz you Love your bff. ehehee. But you're not directly broke up Bff to your friend, coz you knw, you're matured. Come on. Dont act childish. Mybe over there we knw them happy with another friend, but deep inside, im sure they won't forgot about you easily. ehehe. so chill.   

Bestfriends mostly happen in same gender, like girl and girl. boy and boy. Coz with same gender, its easily to undrstand each other. They have their own story in between them. Probably examples, girls tells about shopping, food or sports? and boys probably mosttlyy talked about games, hangout, or sports? For my experience, yess, mostly they all like this and yes. It is easy to undrstand each other if same gender. And the important is, they would talked about needed help for opinion as a Man mybe? or got same interest, so how to improve smething? right? if girls, err. girls got a lot to do. to said. and to tell. Girls needed a girl bestfriend, mostly yes. It could mybe needed a listener and some advices? right? So, im sure You have bestfriends in your life, that very precious to you.

Then, how about girl and boy? Can they be a good bestfriends too? Ermm. well it can be Yes and it can be No. Depends on their hearts. If boy and girl be a bestfriends, people mostly said, One of them will fall inlove. Okeii, thats true. That i cant deny. It is true. Coz you dont cntrol your heart, your feelings to her. Waiitt ... Her? Hell yeahh, For my experience, Girls are not easy to fall inlove with her boy bestfriends. Its really rare for that happening. But for boys? hurrmm. Yes. They easily fall inlove with his girl bestfriends. and this is always happening in my life!! Everytime I got boys bestfriend, they would fall for me. and im not. err. Only 1 person im falling for. ehehe, he is my guy now ^^ So about the boys that easily falling, why? Coz they are a Man. Man easy been shot with a girl cuteness or actions. Then, once they feels like they in love, they might said anything zero meaning, for example, i never felt like this.. i felt this coz you.. you.. coz this... soooo Melody Dramaa.

Lastly, you get it already the difference between Bestfriends and Friendship. So, from now takecare of yours. Value them. and never betrayed them, either trust or backstabbing. DO NOT. Coz you'll regret if you do. and Every glass thats already broken, will never be the same once it been fix. If you wanna do shit in peoples life, better back off and go somewhere else. People's life is not a playground. Got it

Apart in Distance but ..


             


 Long distance relationship are hard.
Reallyy Hard.
and not everybody truly undrstands that.
There are more reasons to fight, more reasons to argue and more reason to stress. you have to put twice as much effort, twice as much patience and twice as much trust in order to make it work. The distance, however, gives those couples a reason to love harder than regular couples do. Regular couples gets to we each other whenever they want, while long distance couples hve to wait long periods of time to see each other and when they do, its only for a short period of times as well and when its time to leave, thats the worst part about it all bcoz you don't want to leave. it hurts to leave, knowing it'll be awhile until you see that person again. So every moment those cpls spend time together matter. They dont take holding hands, long hugs and kisses for granted.

Whats Amazing is that, although these couples are far apart from each other closer than that person and thats how you know its real and pure love.

Apart in Distance but never apart in hearts. If the Hearts is Loyal.

To all Men



To all Men ..
 Before you start a relationship with a Lady, you must think carefully about what you are about to do. A relationship is not something you should rush into or handle lightly.

Are you ready for relationship with her? are you emotionally, mentally and spiritually mature to meet her needs?

Being sexuality attracted to her means absolutely nothing. it isn't a sign of likeness, love or any other thing your mind may come up with. It may just be your hormones messing with your mind. A woman is more than her body and her sexuality. She has a life which you should be able to blend with. Can you do that?

 This Lady has a history. Can you handle it? She has a past. Can you handle it? Can you handle her mistakes, failures and weaknesses? Can you handle her dreams without being intimidated and becoming jealous?

She already had life before she met you. Can you fit into and help improve her life?

Love is commitment. Are you ready to commit your life helping her grow and bcome all that she can be, by God's grace?

is she valuable enough for you to devote  a large portion of your life towards the accomplishment of her dream? Are you ready to pour your resources into making her all the God plans for her to be? if you are not ready, don't just bother.

Before you open your mouth to say iloveyou , ask yourself if this is not just a moment of emotional madness. A Lady needs much more than iloveyou. She needs your commitment.

If you are not ready to make that Commitment that will lead to marriage, please leave her alone in peace and stop wasting her time and resources.  

Friends that i cherish


To that friend whom I don't see more often,


imissyou.

These are the words to completely describe how i feel for you. i miss our happy times and i can't help but reminisce all the memories we shared. Always remember that nothing has changed. im still the same person you met long time ago. Friendship is not measured on how often you see each other but abt how you value each other even if you rarely see each other. Lets achieve our dreams and travel the world soon. Rest assured that im just at your back supporting on all your endeavors.

iloveyou and see you soon.  


Dont hurt yourself (HIM or HER)



Don't try to force things with him. you can't force consistency. you can't force attention. You can't force effort. You can't force undrstanding. you can't force patience. you can't force loyalty. You can't force honesty. you can't force trust. you can't force commitment. You can't force a connection.

The love that used to be there is no longer there and it hasn't been for awhile and as much as you want it back, you can't force it to happen bcoz by forcing it. you're only making things worse. you're actually forcing other things to happen. You're only driving him further away you. You're only causing more distance between you two. You're only building more resentment towards one another. you're only giving him more reason to not care.

You're only showing him how controlling you can be. You're only implying how desperate you are. Don't do that to him, but more importantly, don't do that to yourself. To youu, you're fighting to make things work and to save the relationship. But the truth, is you're only disappointing yourself when things don't meet the expectations you've set and that will only hurt you moree.

Please don't hurt yourself for someone who genuinely wouldn't be affected too deeply if it were to end bcoz it isn't worth it and it stopped being worth it awhile ago and deep down, you knw it did. He may love you enough to make you feel loved every day anymore and thats not someone you should waste anymore to yourself with. So, stop forcing love bcoz its either there or it isn't and if it isn't, you shouldn't be either. 

Anxiety Fighters





Dear fellow Anxiety fighters,

Monster surrounding your bed, throwing crumpled emotions in your head and piercing knives through your chest. You can hear them slowly whispering in your ears that you are the world's worst garbage. They will consume your being and contaminate your humanity. They will suck out all the happiness and leave you agony. Even the tiniest bit of self-esteem you own will be casted out from your body. Your single strand of confidence left will be plucked. They will bury you with misery and shame. They will make sure you suffer until all the blood of joy will be drained.

However, you can be territorial and claim dominion over things you own. The monsters are under you sovereignty. Their  choice of taking your optimism resides in you. Fight your way out of them. they are just your invisible servants trying to make you submissive. Strengthen your hold, encage whats left and be possessive. they can never realize your real worth, its like taking the lost monsters one by one and confining them inside your bottle of self-respect and value.

Beach Ball


Do you knw that feeling?
When its like you've lost something but can't remember what it was. its as though you're trying so desperately to think of a word but it won't come to you. you've said it a thousand times before and it was always there -- right whre you left it. But now, you can't recall it. you try and try to make it appear and it almost does, but it nver does.

There are time when I think it could surface - when I sense it as the tip of my tongue. when I feel it struggling to burst from my chest like a beach ball that can only be held beneath the water for so long.

I can feel it stirring each time someone hurts me. when I smile at a stranger and they dont smile bck. when I trust someone with a secret and they betray me. when someone I admire tells me I am not good enough.

I dnt knw what it is or what I hve lost. but I know it was important, I know it once made me happy :')

the Deeper



The Deeper you are, the harder it becomes for you to find someone who wants to hve a rlationship with you. you can go out on a lot of dates but at some point the rlationship fails to progress any further and that is mainly bcoz of the intensity of your depth. Not every man is strong enough to handle a deep women. Here's why :-

A deep women asks deep Questions. A deep women will probe further into your life and ask questions tht you may not be prepared to answer. Even on the first date, she will dig deeper and ask personal and philosophical questions - she will nver enjoy a shallow cnversation.

A deep women is honest. Tooo honest - often blunt. A deep women takes her integrity seriously and one thing she believes in is honesty. is you ask her anything, she will tell you the truth and she expects the same from you.

A deep women knows what she wants. Or who she wants. A deep women knws right away if she likes you and doesn't need to date around or explore her other options to be sure of her feelings. Her heart only beats for a special few people and she knws them right away. 

A deep women wants a deep relationship. She wants long cnversation about your life, she wants to hear stories abt your past, she wants to undrstand your pain and she wants to add value to your life. she wants a real relationship tht goes beyond going out and hving fun.

A deep women is not afraid of intimacy. she is not afraid of getting closer or risking getting hurt in process. she doesn't think it will entrap her freedom or make her vulnerable. her depth and intimacy go hand in hand and she will always cherish the beauty on intimacy in rlationship. 

A deep women sees through you. She can see who you really are and what makes you vulnerable. she is not the one to hold bck from pointing out what she sees in you or how well she can read you. even though it mkes you uncomfortable, she wants you to knw that she undrstands you and that you can be yourself around her.  

A deep women craves consistency. she gets turned off by inconsistency or flaky behavior. she desires a strong connection and a solid bond and she knws that consistency is the foundation of that bond. A deep women will not participate in the dating games.

  A deep women is intense. She may be slightly intimidating bcoz she brings intensity to everything she does. her emotions are intense and so are her thoughts. she will nver be indifferent about things tht matter to her. - not everyone is strong enough to handle her intensity.

A deep women only knws how to love deeply. If you can't love her deeply, she will walk away. she doesn't knw how to casually date someone she's really into or be friends with someone she has feelings for. A deep women knws when someone can't meet her halfway and she will slowly detach herself from anyone who is not willing to gve her the deep love she is looking for.

A deep women won't wait for you. she will not wait for you to make up your mind or watch you be hesitant about her. she is strong and passionate and will not waste her emotions on someone who doesn't appreciate their depth. Even though she is looking for a special kind of love, a deep women is not afraid of being on her own. 

Put yourself in my shoes






Maybe I had a bad day at home. Maybe im sick of the rain. Maybe im having the period from Hell. Or maybe I just need to be fed.

But the root of my mood is the least important thing right now.
Remember that im sorry.
If anything I said hurt to you, im sorry. I tend to say cruel things I don’t actually mean when im in a mood, but just bcoz they’re fueled by anger doesn’t mean that they dnt hurt you.

But remember that im also not sorry.
I wont apologize for having feelings. For being a person. Let me be. Let me feel. I knw it sucks, but this moment, im moody and theres nthing you can do to chnge that, except let me it all out, so it can go away.

Remember that im human.
We all hve good days, and bad days And sometimes I hve good days for absolutely no reason. And sometimes I hve bad days for absolutely no reason.

Remember that its not you.
If you were the problem, if you were the reason why im moody right now, trust me, you would know. Whatever it is, you need to let me feel it. No judgements.

Remember that iloveyou and youloveme.
Eventhough im being a total pain in the ass right now, remember that this is a part of me. This is a part of the women you love, the person you fell for.

Remember that you get into moods, too.
Im not crazy. Im just being crazy for the time being. And like me, you’re human. You do the same thing, while you dnt hve PMS, you definitely hve a time of the month whre you get moody as hell. So put yourself in my shoes – when you’re in a bad mood. How do want to be treated?

Remember that if I wanted to be alone, I would be alone.
You’re here, bcoz despite my mood. I need you by my side. I want you by my side. While it may not show, knowing you’re here with me makes me feel better. Bcoz you make me feel safe, like everthings gonna be okei.

To the Guy..



To the Guy who broke me,

I gave it my best shot. I did all that I could to save our story. I gave it all, but I lose the only thing I wanted most. you were not what I thought you'd be. I thought that with every effort I gave, I would have the same love returned. But at last, I cannot have been more naive.

I was this silent girl, who seats at the back of a classroom. I was what they call an 'outsider' for I had my own little word, a world found in the pages of the books I read. Friends? I have only a few, but they were true. Thoughts on love was purely from my own understanding of what characters in my books portrayed, stories of my friends and observations of others. i hate love, but also wished i could hve the chance to experience it. i hated the pain that love brought, but i dreamt of the butterflies in my stomach and chaos in my brain.

Thats when you came in. i nver expected it. i despised you bcoz you were everything i wasn't. you fool around as often as you can crack a corny joke, which i concluded was very often. you nver seemed to carry the kind of respect i hve for love. you play around with it and get over it as quickly as 1 2 3.

you were boisterous. i was Not. you were confident, i was not. you were friendly, i definitely was not. you had a string of lovers, i only had none. but what caught my attention? you made me laugh. Ehemm. Did you make me crack up. you made me feel safe. you made me feel special. you encouraged me. you gve me butterflies in my stomach. you made my organized brain chaos, so was this it? was this my love?

i thought so too. Although, i detested the pain tht love was bound to offer, i accpted you. i let you in. i did my best to prove tht i was better than all your ex's. i ignored what little friends i hve. i ignored their constant warnings. i ignored their comments. Bcoz .. i found love. and found love i did, every single bit.To the joyous, magnificent ones, down to the hurt and painful moments. Oh, how i cried! every single tear, not bcoz of losing you, but of the pain tht i felt from every effort i wasted on the wrong person.

But you knw what? you came back. I wasn't ready to accpt you. i built myself a wall. Something far thicker and taller than i had bfore. i was ready to push you away, not one thing clicked, "why?"
Why did you come bck? why did you leave in the first place? there are so mny questions. but you've answered them. and i knw you were telling truth, bcoz  i can see it in your eyes. you cried. you begged. you went down on your knees and asked for forgiveness, but i already frgive you. i nver held a grudge. i nver were mad. i had long frgiven you. but letting you in my heart is another story. Something far more tedious and challenging than bfore.

But months of pushing you away, and continuing, i hve got to say tht you're a strong one. you nver felt. even when i begged, screamed, cried, punched, pushed you. you nver felt. i was giving you a hard time and here you are, accpting everything. i did all tht i could to hurt you, you stayed. then i asked why? That was when i knew you've learned. That was when i knew you'd stay for sure. 

you've grown up. you matured. and i am certain, this time, you're here to stay.
you see, it is not our mistakes that define us, it is how we learn from them that does.



Sincerely,
The girl who has finally accepted.