Beach Ball

Do you knw that feeling?
When its like you've lost something but can't remember what it was. its as though you're trying so desperately to think of a word but it won't come to you. you've said it a thousand times before and it was always there -- right whre you left it. But now, you can't recall it. you try and try to make it appear and it almost does, but it nver does.

There are time when I think it could surface - when I sense it as the tip of my tongue. when I feel it struggling to burst from my chest like a beach ball that can only be held beneath the water for so long.

I can feel it stirring each time someone hurts me. when I smile at a stranger and they dont smile bck. when I trust someone with a secret and they betray me. when someone I admire tells me I am not good enough.

I dnt knw what it is or what I hve lost. but I know it was important, I know it once made me happy :')