Its been worse day for these past few days due to my negative thoughts keep hunting me. Until I decided to contact back or to touch back to people who was here and there for me.
I just done on called with both of my lively gegirls. Thank God they doing just fine since that day until now. Im glad they doing well in their daily day. So, I plan to hangout for them. Im not sure if its on and go smoothly. And also, probably it could be my last with them. Well, who knows ~~~~
My negative thoughts like... sometimes I want to end my life or sometimes I feel like. I want to hurt myself. Feels like theres nothing important anymore in this life. The world is sick. People surrounding toxic and environment getting bad. It is a bad year for me and for all of us. But mine, Im not sure if I can handle this emotion. My mental sometimes is ok? And sometimes I feel its not oke at all. I feel fatigue. And always think wanna close my eyes forever. But still breathing. Im not sure for what Im living for. I rather go hell feel the pain. Than staying alive in this sick planet earth with painfull days.
I've been bad with people nowdays and theres a time I feel funny for myself. Because, Im not talkin or seeing that person anymore. But I am gladly and happily seen his/her status showing that their are justtt doing finee. I like to know about people quietly. And pray for them. That they will always be fine. Seeing other people doing fine is already make me happy yet sitting here alone, is verry not ok at all.
But its oke. I just wanna spendtime with whoever I want bfore I can't control this negative thoughts consume my mind and soul. Its ok. I wish for you the best in your life.
