no sweet perfume torture me more than this

so, my actions and words spilled like that easily because its naturally responding to the pain that my partner causes and triggered? but world see it as im toxic person? as i did not understand him? as i did not care? as i did not inlove?

im not sure what day today.. day 3? day 2? im also not sure. i cant even tracked days/time nowdays. I've been bz thinking what went wrong..

its raining heavily... went to mall to buy my fav drink Pokka to stay alive.. but all i see were just a shadow of him hunting me down. it makes me stopped for a moment. am i in reality or dreams? i even lost in a moment that i naturally grab 2 drinks. coz he loves drink a lot. wentt back to home.. im just taking my time walking to home while still thinking what else went wrong actually that night. my brain so painfully to re-think and trying to remember it... rain drops slowly showering me - as it was telling me *its ok, you can cry now.. i cover you.. no one will know......