Pufferfish & Shark

the pufferfish feels everything,

small heart, big waves inside,

she puffs when she's hurting,

not to push away - just to hide.

the shark quiet and deep,

strong, steady, hard to read,

he swims away when storms rise,

protecting himself from what he feels beneath.

two different ways of loving,

two different ways of pain,

one reacts in the moment,

one dissappear in the rain.

but maybe the ocean knew,

they were never meant to fight,

just to learn each other's currents,

and meet somewhere in the tide🌊

from your pufferfish... i may still be learning, but my heart has been always yours A..

p/s : " you didn't start fighting because the love is gone. you started fighting because the Love became real enough to test both of you."

do cat even settle down?

there was a time when i was ready to settle.

ermm... but now,

i can't even picture myself as someone's girlfriend anymore. i used to dream about building a life with someone, about growing together, about giving everything i had and being with the through good and bad.

but I've been hurt too manytimes, and my trust has been broken. i dont have the same patience or hope i once had. i see Love differently now. i know it takes a lot of time, efforts and care and sometimes i feel like i dont have that much left to give. i don't want to lose myself again just to make someone else happy. maybe someday I'll believe in Love again.. but right now, im learning to be fine on my own. im learning to enjoy being alone and to build a life that feels good for me even without someone besides me...

not just forever...

you say im the Love you’ve been looking for,

the one you'd choose for a lifetime,

and every time you say those words,

they echo softly in mine.

not because I doubt your heart,

but because it feel real and near,

like a promise wrapped in warmth,

every time you hold me here.

and I may not always find the words,

as boldly as you do,

but in my quiet, steady way,

im appreciating you.

for the Love you give so freely,

for the future that you see,

and for choosing me as yours,

as im learning to choose you, just as deeply♡

always be each other valentines

i understand the moment you snapp out. you shouted. you frustrated. you feel left out alone. you screaming out of anger. emotional unstable... cried and still high anxiety...

among all of that, i still love your flaws.

i still continue loving youu.

even in your state of mind crazy. not thinking straight and feeling hurted. im here.

im still here. continue stay loving you in your lowest and unstable mind. im here. im not going anywhere just bcoz youre like this. im still here continue loving you. your flaws i still keep it with me. i will learn abt youu. i will handle you. and i will takecare of youu..

wishing you could do the same thing to me..too..

no sweet perfume torture me more than this

so, my actions and words spilled like that easily because its naturally responding to the pain that my partner causes and triggered? but world see it as im toxic person? as i did not understand him? as i did not care? as i did not inlove?

im not sure what day today.. day 3? day 2? im also not sure. i cant even tracked days/time nowdays. I've been bz thinking what went wrong..

its raining heavily... went to mall to buy my fav drink Pokka to stay alive.. but all i see were just a shadow of him hunting me down. it makes me stopped for a moment. am i in reality or dreams? i even lost in a moment that i naturally grab 2 drinks. coz he loves drink a lot. wentt back to home.. im just taking my time walking to home while still thinking what else went wrong actually that night. my brain so painfully to re-think and trying to remember it... rain drops slowly showering me - as it was telling me *its ok, you can cry now.. i cover you.. no one will know......

maybe.. it was never easy..

maybe it was never easy to handle those such things.. and i wonder why....

oohhh.. its because thats the moment that kind of feelings.. prove its valid. those feelings were real.. valid.. and thats the moment will be never be easy. and its up to the couples. wanna go through it together or not. 

oke love. you scared? im scared too. 

ehh? but then again... i heard ppl asking me. whats wrong with my gaze that so soft whenever with him??

"i thought i saw Love in their eyes, but it was just mine reflecting back at me"...

well, me and him totally have different life before we together. we both reacted and thinking differently.. yett. we still choose each other. we still love each other. i know each of us have our own past, and its ok. be grateful for it.. coz we both no longer live there... so about my eyes on him.. its because my nervous systems finally rest for a moment. He gave me safely and i trust him. 

It will never be easy for this unexpected journey as long we both know that our feelings is real and will be always choose each other :)