I’ve been thinking a lot, and I want to say this calmly, not to argue — but to be understood.
Lately, I feel like I’m always the one reaching out first. I’m always the one trying to close the distance between us, and sometimes it makes me wonder… if I stopped, would you come to me the same way?
I don’t want to assume things, but my mind keeps asking questions I don’t know how to answer on my own. Are you here because you truly want me, or just because it’s easier to stay? Do you still love me the same way, or has something changed since we got back together?
I’m not asking for big gestures. I’m just hoping for the small things that used to come naturally from you.. like a simple good morning baby girl, a good night my love, or even random moments where you remind me I matter to you (trust me when i said this : i don't remember when was the lastime i received those randoms sweet words from you. means its been stop or sngt jarang dah).. Those things mean more to me than you might realize.
Some days I feel important to you. But other days, I feel like I only exist when it’s convenient, and that feeling honestly hurts more than I can explain. I also want you to understand that when I stay quiet, it’s not because I don’t feel anything. It’s because I’m scared that expressing myself will turn into an argument, or that you’ll see me as “too much."
But keeping it in is starting to feel just as heavy. I’m not trying to blame you. I just want clarity and reassurance. I want to feel chosen, not uncertain. I want to know what I truly mean to you.. not just in certain moments, but consistently.
If there’s still something we’re both healing from, I understand that it takes time. But I think I need to know if we’re moving forward together, or if I’m the only one trying to hold on the same way. I care about you deeply. That’s why this matters so much to me.
I’m not asking for perfection, just honesty, effort, and to feel like I’m truly part of your life....
your pufferfish, or your wifey or your baby girl.. or.. more to. your ghost girl :')
