my dear beloved husband,
i didn't want to argue.
i just wanted you to care about the things that hurt me. BUT you made me feel like i was too much.
i wanted to feel heard without having to explain myself over and over. i wanted you to notice the pain instead of dismissing it (just by giving a quick or or silent) you always do that to me. then the balance of the pain what im gonna do??
i wanted comfort not defensiveness. every time i spoke up. it felt like i was asking for something unreasonable. like my feelings were a burden.
so i started holding bck.
i swallowed my words and told myself to be patient. to be understanding. to be SMALLER.
but.. love shouldn't make me feel like i hve to stay quiet just to keep peace.
i never wanted argue. i was only asking for care. for effort. for reassurance that what i felt mattered to youu. bcoz when the person you love keeps making you feel like im tooo much..? then started believing that maybe... maybe im the problem. and thats the part that hurts me the most.
so, heres my final goodbye.
ive finally accepted that we can't be together anymore. we never fully understood each other. and that truth hurts more than i expected. still....... thankyou for showing me what love feels like and what heartbreak feels like too. i hope my distance gives you peace and freedom. i really tried with all i had. Our plans didn't work but my feelings were real.
im learning to live with the silence you left behind, one day at a time.
